02 Love vs. Infatuation

PSYCHOLOGY IN SEARCH OF A SOUL–Dr. John Drakesford P. 124-25  LovevsInfatuation

A comparison between love and infatuation shows some of the essential qualities of love that may easily be overlooked in this period. The following is a list of the differences between love and infatuation as revealed in representa­tive research studies (53, pp. 40-41)


1.    Tends to occur first in late teens and in the twenties

2.    Attachment simultaneously to two or more tends not to be frequent

3.    Most cases last over a longer period of time

4.    More slowly develops after a love affair has ended

5.    Often used to refer to present affair

6.    Object of affection is more likely a suitable person

7.    Parents tend to approve

8.    Broadly involves entire per­sonality

9.    Brings new energy and am­bition, and more interest in life

10.  Associated with feelings of self-confidence, trust, and se­curity

11.  Accompanied by kindlier feelings toward other people generally

12.  Joy in many common inter­ests and in ongoing sense of being alive when together precludes boredom

13.  Little change in the relation­ship with the passing of time

14.  Problems and barriers are often disregarded; idealiza­tion may have little regard for reality


1.    Tends to be more frequent among young adolescents and children under teen age

2.    Simultaneous attachments to two or more tends to be fre­quent

3.    Tends to last but a short time (only a few weeks in most cases)

4.    More quickly reoccurs soon after a given involvement has ended

5.    Is often the term applied to past attachments

6.    Tends to focus more fre­quently on unsuitable person

7.    Parents more often disap­prove

8.    Narrowly focused on a few traits, mostly physical thrill

9.    Less frequently accompanied by ambition and wide inter­ests

10.  Feelings of guilt, insecurity, and frustration are frequent

11.  Tends to be self-centered and restricted

12.  Boredom is frequent when there is no sexual excitement or social amusement

13.  Relationship changes and grows with ongoing associa­tion, developing interests, and deepening feelings

14.  Accompanied by willingness to face reality and to tackle problems realistically


One thought on “02 Love vs. Infatuation

  1. Its like you read my mind! You seem to know so much about this, like you wrote the book in it or something. I think that you can do with some pics to drive the message home a little bit, but instead of that, this is magnificent blog. A fantastic read. I’ll definitely be back.

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